Britney Spears rose to fame as a child entertainer turned semi-attractive Southern girl pop star who fit the dress. She was an empty vessel with tits and excellent music producers. They could’ve plucked a manatee out of the water and conjured up numerous multi-platinum albums. Spears origin story kicked off nearly twenty years ago. Ten years ago she shaved her head, began self-medicating, and was placed into a 5150 hold. She lost custody of her children and her personal finances. These all seemed like topical times to usher in shoddy biopics. Lifetime sat it out a few Presidential administrations until the price came down.
Britney Ever After is airing a couple days after Fifty Shades Darker and since the target audience is identical, Lifetime simply imitated Fifty Shades’ trailer. Minus all the kinky sex and bare tits that might make the suburban mom porn the slightest iota of tolerable. Search Britney Spears on TMZ and read every fourth article going back to Y2K if you want a more profound entertainment experience that lasts half as long.
The quintessential Britney Spears film remains to be produced. As does the bio pic on the quiet Ecuadorian chick who assembles your Subway BMT sandwich. I can tell you who’s more genuinely colorful.
Photo credit: Lifetime