Does Alison Brie Actually Suck Dick?

Websites often formulate headlines as questions in order to capitalize on popular searches for SEO purposes. Assuming that people have either seen Alison Brie in GLOW or read her new interview in Marie Claire, I was debating on anticipating audiences with "Did Alison Brie... read more

UFC Fighter Justine Kish Shits Herself (VIDEO)

UFC fighter Justine Kish was facing off against Felice Herrig in front of a live audience on Sunday when she shit her pants. Kish released her bowels while enduring a move called the killer rear naked choke. read more

Heather Graham Reminds Us She's Alive

Heather Graham is either 90's roadkill or one of the few survivors of the garbage decade. Her talents didn't allow for continued mainstream success post-Boogie Nights and Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. Not that she wasn't a good actress. Graham made people not... read more

Advertisement
Bella Hadid Handle With Care

Bella Hadid is tearing through Paris like the publicity machine Tasmanian Devil wearing anything that sticks. Her style sensibilities have left her in a bra and bright orange 90's prostitute-inspired garb. Since Hadid looks like she was thirty in the 90's, it all just... read more

Bella Thorne Working That Disick

At only nineteen years old Bella Thorne has learned that the key to winning the hearts of Americans is fake fucking a Kardashian tangental douchebag. America's Busted Sweetheart was randomly caught by the paps holding hands with Scott Disick while leaving 1 OAK Nightclub... read more

Ariel Winter Not Paying the Help

Every time a celebrity slams a shameful story about themselves we need to take a shot. We'll die in three minutes but at least we had fun. Ariel Winter is clapping back at the h8ers (another linguistics home run of the 21st century) who claim she gives her boyfriend Levi... read more

Miley Cyrus Proves Worth

Miley Cyrus took to Instagram to prove that she's fuckable in a new picture. The singer can be seen sucking down her day's worth of calories in a red bikini alongside two of her captives. The beginning-of-summer bikini selfie is as quintessential to a celebrity as sweaty... read more

Courtney Cox Not Transitioning To Bruce Jenner

Courtney Cox proudly proclaims in something called New Beauty Magazine that her face is back to normal after years of playing pincushion with various doctors. read more

Ashley Graham Inspires Herself To Tears (VIDEO)

Ashley Graham stars in a new YouTube video where she inspires the shit out of various insecure women. The grab bag of test subjects are paraded out onto a photo shoot where they greet Jesus disguised as a plus sized model. read more

Advertisement
Madonna Hoarding Young Men

Madonna is on to her next young victim. The Methuselah like pop singer dumped her twenty-six-year-old eldercare provider, Aboubakar Soumahoro, for the more mature thirty-one-year-old, Kevin Sampaio. read more

Makeup-Free Gal Gadot Fucks Us

Gal Gadot took to Instagram to share a makeup-free selfie in the aftermath of a sleepless night with her sick newborn. A makeup-free selfie from a highly fuckable celebrity is a huge "go kill yourself" to hard working ladies everywhere. read more

Lorde Autoimmune Disease Apology For Cyberbullying Justice

Elevated Hot Topics cashier Lorde publicly apologized for comments she made comparing Taylor Swift's fame to an autoimmune disease. A moment of clarity for those suspecting Swift was an autoimmune disease all along. read more