People Magazine Goes Off the Reservation

The simple distinction between People magazine and the large remainder of checkout counter tabloids is that People magazine colludes with the celebrities to publish bullshit stories that cast them in a favorable light. This is done in exchange for access.  read more

Divorce Seems Easier When Super Rich

Jennifer Garner finally pulled the trigger on divorce papers with Ben Affleck. She's been dangling the documents for a couple years now, during the course of their separation. read more

Ben Affleck Drunk Dad Of The Year

Drunk dads are the best. Especially when your dad's Batman. The paps recently caught Ben Affleck hanging out with Jennifer Garner and their two and a half kids. He pulled out the good wig.  read more

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Juno Gender Biased Table Read

Director Jason Reitman is staging a live table read of Juno, a ten year old movie he directed which nobody has talked about in ten years. The table read will benefit Planned Parenthood. Can't we just donate twice as much and skip this thing, Honey? read more

Ben Affleck Back to Rehab

Ben Affleck finished a run in rehab while you weren't even paying attention. Pretty epic sleight of hand. Also, nobody notices where he goes. Occasionally, check the press wire to see how Batman's going. His press people show up to work while he's drying out. read more

Jennifer Garner Slouching Into Single

There's that moment when a woman decides it's time to get her ass up and off to the gym. It's typically not long after her husband fucks the nanny. Jennifer Garner got the rep for mom jeans and loose fitting tops during her homemaking days. Ben always told her how... read more

Ben Affleck And Nanny Disconnect

Ben Affleck is steadily denying he nailed his nanny while she appears to be milking the rumor for all it's worth. Women love attention. Even if it's in the form of dubious claims that you're a home wrecker. People used to take pride in their job. Now they take pride in... read more

Affleck's Nanny Loving It (VIDEO)

Christine Ouzounian, the nanny who is letting everybody think she's been fucking Ben Affleck during his split with his wife, let the world into her inner sanctum with an Instagram photo of herself being photographed by the paparazzi and a song quote, because this is... read more

Ben Affleck Guilty By Association

It's entirely possible the rumors Ben Affleck was porking the nanny, Christine Ouzounian, are false. In fact there is zero credible evidence to back it up. Except that she's a hot Armenian chick in her late 20's. If that's who you're hiring as a nanny, given all the... read more

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Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner to Cohabitate

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing amicably. They intend to remain great friends and even continue to live together to parent their three carefully named children. Which sounds an awful lot like being married, with the exception that all that side fucking is... read more

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner Divorcing

It's unclear if Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are divorcing because he's an alcoholic and gambling addict and his family owned slaves or because he's a crappy husband.  Usually one leads to the other. Few relationships end over a lack of blackjack and cigar smoking. He... read more

Jennifer Garner Resigns (VIDEO)

Ellen DeGeneres committed the ultimate social faux pas by asking Jennifer Garner if she was pregnant, the answer was no. Of course, this is all staged and producers before the show have walked Ellen and Jennifer through this mock revelation so that the exchange appears... read more