Jessica Simpson's Pigtail Fiasco

How is it possible to have annual slutwalks and then shame a fellow female for having pigtails. Is there a handbook for inappropriate hairstyles that I’m unaware of? read more

Jessica Simpson Bares Booty For Husbands Birthday

Jessica Simpson just turned 37 not too long ago. But she’s decided to go out with a bang before committing the remainder of her existence playing Bingo and eating canned cat food on purpose. read more

Jessica Simpson Honey Boo Boo Chic

After seeing what I can only define as problem areas, I assumed that these images would be accompanied by the words "brave," "body positive," "slam," and "h8ers," but apparently we're not doing that with Jessica Simpson. read more

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Dukes of Debauchery Arrested

Cocaine possession without a complementing indecent assault charge is the equivalent of leaving your pants at home. All you wanted to do was party in the first place. read more

Spice Up Your Sex Life and Shit Around the Web

  Jessica Simpson's ass, Isabeli Fontana's nipples, and more! read more

Jessica Simpson Topless Birthday Ass Kissing

Birthday girl Jessica Simpson appears as an interchangeable Real Housewife in a new topless Instagram post with the caption "Kiss My Butt 36." Kiss it? I'll devour it. Kidding. Simpson's body is back on track after years of Mariah Carey-worthy smoke and mirrors in... read more

Jessica Simpson Guns Blazing

Jessica Simpson is plotting her return to reality television. It was her Newlyweds MTV show with then husband Nick Lachey that turned her from junior pop star into an A-list celebrity. People love a dumb blond with big tits. It's the white whale for feminists. read more

Jessica Simpson in A Bikini

Jessica Simpson only seems dumb. Those giant tits in that bikini that doesn't come close to fitting just sold her twenty million in signature bangle earrings. She wore the cutoff jeans so media outlets around the world wouldn't even have to fumble for the Daisy Duke... read more

Jessica Simpson Pimping Daughter

There's nothing but the headline 'adorable' on major media outlets regarding Jessica Simpson posting her pre-K daughter with seductive prose. It's always adorable when mothers sexualize their children. Oh, old man, no? Depending on which music historian or urban... read more

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Jessica Simpson in A Bikini

Jessica Simpson caravanned her entire freeloading family down to that resort in Cabo that puts up celebrities for free provided they pay no attention to the teeny tiny Mexican photographers lining the palm trees. Somebody's got to sell crappy shmata at Walmart to pay for... read more

Jessica Simpson Is Fashion Signature

Jessica Simpson launched yet another apparel line because stay at home dads and high end vodka don't pay for themselves. She studied with the physiologists in Tibet to perfect a way to contort her legs so her legs looks less thick. It was time. The line is described as... read more

Jessica Simpson See Through

Jessica Simpson is married, she's not dead. Also, buzzed not drunk. And puffy not heavy. She's still got those magnificent tits that along with her ability to lip-synch and be from Texas made her famous fifteen years ago. Origin stories of most billionaires go deeper... read more