Open Post: Which Jenndashian Needs To Be Voted Off The Island? Island Meaning Planet

Each and every Jenndashian brings a little something extra to the table - Beast brings a fork and knife, Kim brings HPV, Kourtney brings an inch of visible gums, Kris brings a Taser in case one of them gets out of line, and Kendall of course brings the only body that... read more

Kylie Jenner Peeved at Her Shitty Baby Shower

Unlike big sis's, Jenner's shower for her first rapper bastard baby was kept low-key, run entirely by E! television producers who forbid Jenner's girlfriend guests from posting selfies, snapchats, or any media of the lame "pajama garden party" whatsoever. read more

Kylie Jenner Will Soon Be Some Rapper’s Wife

Kris Jenner is probably the only mother on this planet that congratulates their kid after getting pregnant by a rapper. Now she can pat Kylie on the back for not only scoring a paternity pension if they ever split but alimony payments as well. read more

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Two Idiots Reference Babies To Shill Makeup

Ninety-percent of the time I'm able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this video of the two makeup-smeared... read more

Kylie Jenner Promotes Lip Kit While Watching CA Fire

People looking to hilarious medical experiment Kylie Jenner as their sensitivity spirit animal were shocked and even dismayed to see that she promoted her new Lip Kit line on Snapchat in front of televised news of the California wildfires that have claimed just under... read more

Kylie Jenner Pregnant and Alone

In the future, super rich stupid chicks with big fake breasts won't need men in order to watch Guatemalan women raise their babies. The future is now. read more

First Pictures Of Five Months Pregnant Kylie Jenner Show A House

The most successful reality stars identified with Scheherazade from a young age and thought "It's good, but I can do it super slutty." And Kylie Jenner has. The sassy starlet was running low on stories - if her poor ratings for Life of Kylie were any indication - so she... read more

Lena Dunham Victim Of Fertility Industrial Complex For Kylie Jenner

Lena Dunham revealed on Twitter that her friends all have busted vaginas, which isn't too surprising considering I assume all her friends had their lady parts replaced with Coexist bumper stickers to protest the thing during the thing. The most feminist Ziggy impersonator... read more

Kylie Jenner Pregnant Tease

According to sources close to the Kardashian family, or their public relations team led by pimp mom, Kylie Jenner is pregnant. Presumably by her most recent rapper boyfriend, Travis Scott.  read more

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Open Post: Kardashians Recreate Intro Ten Years Later, And How Is Kris Jenner Not In Jail?

If turning your kids into an army of factory reject Bratz Dolls - with the exception of one spherical psychopath with an affinity for A-list sex worker Blac Chyna - isn't child abuse, the laws need a tune-up. The difference between the original intro to Keeping Up With... read more

Remember Miranda Cosgrove? This Is Her Now. Feel Old Yet?

Kylie Jenner has answered your burning question "What would a handicapped baby between Miranda Cosgrove and Lisa Rinna look like?" with a bold new look she debuted while strolling around town. The reality starlet is known for playing fast and loose with her face, but... read more

Kylie Jenner Reveals Reason For Balloon Animal Lips

Kyle Jenner is running out of revelations for the three people watching her deep fried queef casserole reality series, Life of Kylie. On last night's episode, the botched starlet opened up about the reason why it looks like a balloon animal in the shape of a sea... read more