Mariah Carey Pre-Positioning (VIDEO)

If Mariah Carey were a relatively normal person, you might feel sorry for her awkward position. Which was laying across a sofa in an evening gown promoting her Christmas special. It's the first week of October, but check out the stores. She's not alone.  read more

Mariah Carey Natural Glow

Mariah Carey shows up about fifty years too late for her own quinceanera in the new issue of Paper Magazine, where she can also be seen stripped of about half her body in some strategically non-nude topless photos. Paper wanted to recreate their Kim Kardashian "Break the... read more

Mariah Carey Fat Shamed From Within

Somebody on Instagram noted that Mariah Carey looked "like a whale" in a self-promotional late night romantic Instagram with her non-heterosexual young dancer boyfriend. Obviously this troll has never seen a real whale.  read more

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Will Ferrell Unloads on Mariah Carey

The thin blue line of police officer backside covering is matched only by the unwritten rule of Hollywood entertainers to call one another amazing craftsmen. Naturally, everybody hates ones another and dreams of outing one another's insufficiencies with petty tell-alls.... read more

Romee Strijd Keeps Victoria's Secret and Shit Around the Web

Lia Marie Johnson gets naked (DrunkenStepfather) Bella Hadid and friends go jet skiing (TMZ) Mariah Carey upskirt out on the town (TaxiDriverMovie)   Photographer Cassie Scott poses nude (EgotasticAllStars) Romee Strijd keeps Victoria's Secret (Egotastic) Pixie Lott... read more

Mariah Carey Sloppy Aspirational Cleavage

Being Mariah Carey is the best job in the world. She eats whatever she wants. Obviously. Sitting on a reported $520 million dollars means she can look like a fist squeezing Play-Doh and not give a fuck.  read more

Mariah Carey Drops Boy Toy

Mariah Carey is a national treasure. Her mental instability brings joy to millions of Americans anxious to see another star implode right through her girdle. But Carey will never go full Shelley Duvall. Dr. Phil won’t have the pleasure of exploiting her as he journeys... read more

Mariah and Bryan Flaming Passion

There's no book on how to maintain your beard that isn't chiefly about facial hair grooming. You'd think by now one of the more successful female entertainers would've put together a How-To guide to running your male companion show pony.  read more

Mariah Carey Confirms Her Beard

Rumors of Mariah Carey's relationship with her dance team member Bryan Tanaka were heretofore only rumors. Or technically a paid publicity campaign according to her Schedule C business write-offs. Carey officially confirmed the blatantly staged romance for the first time... read more

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Mariah Carey Not Getting Great Workout Results

Mariah Carey continues to rehabilitate her public image after being kicked off the billionaire's yacht. She's chosen to engage in an array of completely unbelievable activities. read more

Mariah Carey Victimized

Mariah Carey is sticking to her story that the production company which produced her failed New Year's Eve performance did it on purpose to fuck with her. If this was coming from Bruce Springsteen, you'd want to bend an ear and hear him out. read more

Mariah Carey Can't Release

Mariah Carey is launching her own investigation into the conspiracy of events that led her to to a lip-synch fail on national television on New Year's Eve. Carey's determination to get to the bottom of things follows a vaunted history of annoying egomaniacs searching for... read more