Cindy Crawford Turns Out Her Kids and Taylor Swift Heroic Survivor on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #97

August 17, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast, Matt and I and special guest Jessica Winther explore various depths of human depravity including ESPN’s self-immolating slave auction, Cindy Crawford auctioning her white kids, reports that porn is killing erections in young men, Taylor Swift’s sexual assault and or ass pat trial, Christina El Moussa’s spousal support demands, and how badly trannies are in vogue these days, even Chelsea Manning who looks a bit like a twisted elf. Just the good stuff.

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Cindy Crawford Hangs With Her Teen Model Daughter

December 27, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Cindy Crawford has been on a running rant about trolls on social media complaining about her aging looks. Something you simply don’t expect when you’re fifty and still posting half naked selfies and magazine shots of you with no clothes on.

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Kaia Gerber Passed Around

September 12, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Not many people’s lives are set at fifteen. Bombed out Syrian refugees and celebrity daughter models do grow up fast. Cindy Crawford’s daughter, Kaia Gerber, was named the Breakout Model of the Year at some posh New York Fashion Week event.

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Cindy Crawford Taunting The Old and Ugly

April 5, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

Crawford’s doing it again. Shitting on your ability to manage expectations. Undoing life’s hardest lesson: accepting mediocrity. Crawford is fifty years old. She recently posted a picture on Instagram, from some exotic Caribbean locale, of herself in a bikini. She looks fucking amazing. Not amazing for a fifty-year-old. She has abs and shit. Good luck […]

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Cindy Crawford and Caitlyn Jenner End Times

March 29, 2016 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s an Internet meme that Cindy Crawford is aging into Caitlyn Jenner. That seems like a slap in the face to all the craftspeople who worked so tirelessly on building Caitlyn. Two recent high end modeling shots. Who looks more fuckable? Lying to yourself is cheap. Men age more gracefully. Men with brand new tits […]

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Cindy Crawford’s Underage Daughter

March 15, 2016 | celebrity | josh-j| 0 Comments

The media is engaging in its favorite pastime again. The one where it manipulates people into feeling something so that it can self-righteously chide those people for behaving exactly how it knew they would. Currently the media is making us want to fuck Cindy Crawford’s fourteen-year-old daughter, Kaia Gerber. They’re putting her in magazines, dolling […]

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Cindy Crawford Too Real

March 2, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

The photographer who took this leaked photo of Cindy Crawford claims it was stolen and then photoshopped to make Crawford look past her prime. Also, he concluded that the cops framed OJ. The photographer’s hired a lawyer to send out cease and desist letters to news outlets and the fugly women who use this as their screensaver. […]

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Cindy Crawford Gets An A For Effort

February 18, 2015 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

This photo from a Marie Claire shoot features a completely untouched image of 48 year old Cindy Crawford. It’s generating a chorus of applause from women pretending to champion the imperfection of the natural woman’s body. We’re now at the pendulum swing where you get credit for taking a bad photo. Blast some floodlights onto those wrinkles, now push your gut […]

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Cindy Crawford Selling the Cleanse

June 9, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There comes a point in the life cycle of every supermodel when you stop selling sex and you start selling wrinkle creams and the gentle means to unclog your lady shitter. Elvis died from having his pipes ballooning with ancient fecal beasts intended for the trash chute. Cindy Crawford will be damned if that’s going […]

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Cindy Crawford’s Tits Can Still Sell Watches

March 27, 2014 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I don’t know how old Cindy Crawford is exactly and I’m not going to Google it because I’ll spend several hours looking at old nude photos of her. I don’t have time for that, not right now. She’s still the go-to model girl for upscale merchandise. Her name just says classy. Her tits says buy […]

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