Kris Jenner Furious That People Are Exploiting Kylie Jenner

January 15, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The ability to self-reflect – to truly have a come-to-Jesus with oneself in order to understand both one’s strengths and weaknesses – is alive and well in the Jenndashian household! And if you don’t believe me, just check out these totally self-aware and not at all delusional and sociopathic comments from Madam Kris Jenner regarding […]

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Kardashians Paying Blac Chyna to Stop Saying Rob Hit Her

December 28, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Within the suit and countersuit documents, was the information that Chyna later dropped the assault allegations against Rob Kardashian in exchange for $20K a month. They called it child support, because “roses” and “donations” sounded too on the nose whorish.

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Kris Jenner Gets Fake Grilled About Kim Kardashian’s Sex Tape

December 18, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The current forty-fifth season of Keeping Up With The Prostitutes has seen the brothel mates learning about homelessness on Skid Row – with Beast saying “I think people are blind and kind of like to live in their bubble and ignore what’s really going on” – as well as discussing nuances of the Second Amendment – with Kendall Jenner claiming to be too stalkable to not own a handgun – so basically things have gotten so desperate and surreal that anything is possible. Cue this weekend’s episode of KUWTK, where the ladies were drilled by “media experts” about hard-hitting questions, but mostly Kim’s sex tape. So they’re hiring people to interview them. Not new for the Kardashians, but definitely more transparent than ever. 

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Kris Jenner Moves Across the Street from Kim Kardashian

December 14, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When you wish to stay wealthy it’s imperative to relocate to wherever the money moves. If staying one step ahead means stalking your daughter and rapper husband so be it. Kris Jenner is game.

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Open Post: Which Jenndashian Needs To Be Voted Off The Island? Island Meaning Planet

December 1, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Each and every Jenndashian brings a little something extra to the table – Beast brings a fork and knife, Kim brings HPV, Kourtney brings an inch of visible gums, Kris brings a Taser in case one of them gets out of line, and Kendall of course brings the only body that isn’t an affront to God. Oh fuck, and Kylie brings… her future slut daughter fetus? They all hate Caitlyn now as much as the rest of the world, but if you want to include her, go for it, as long as you lay a tarp over the chair first. One of these super hot ladies has to go today, so head to the comments and let us know who’s the lesser of a half dozen skanks. Kim for example. 

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Kris Jenner Compares Daughters To Leaky Faucet

November 27, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

During the Jenndashian brothel family holiday celebration, Kris Jenner insulted faucets everywhere when she compared them to her drippy slut daughters. E!’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians: A Very Kardashian Holiday transported us to a dinner table decked out for either a Frederick’s of Hollywood lingerie shoot or a meal with the Vampire Lestat, where the ladies got emotional about their leaky holes.

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Kylie Jenner Peeved at Her Shitty Baby Shower

November 21, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Unlike big sis’s, Jenner’s shower for her first rapper bastard baby was kept low-key, run entirely by E! television producers who forbid Jenner’s girlfriend guests from posting selfies, snapchats, or any media of the lame “pajama garden party” whatsoever.

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Open Post: Kardashians Recreate Intro Ten Years Later, And How Is Kris Jenner Not In Jail?

September 22, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

If turning your kids into an army of factory reject Bratz Dolls – with the exception of one spherical psychopath with an affinity for A-list sex worker Blac Chyna – isn’t child abuse, the laws need a tune-up. The difference between the original intro to Keeping Up With The Kardashians (below) and this new tenth-anniversary recreation (above) is just damn unholy. Will they even register as humans in the next one a decade from now?

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Kardashian Victims The Hollywood Reporter Interview

August 17, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The Hollywood Reporter must have had some extra black dicks lying around, and some cheesecake for Khloé, because they were able to lure almost the entire Kardashian/Jenner klan (Caitlyn was off making America great again) to one place for a new photoshoot and interview. I’m assuming they protected the seats with plastic.

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Kris Jenner Bikini Terror

July 31, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Kris Jenner’s uterus has spent decades working overtime as a whore Pez dispenser. Now it’s this whore’s turn to be in the spotlight. Jenner looks like a beach-ready Hulk in a new picture posted to Khloé Kardashian’s Instagram. With over one million likes, this selfie is proof that water buffalos are all the rage this season. Beastiality is alive and well and happening on the Jenndashians’ Instagrams.

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