Ellen Brings Down the Hammer

March 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Dolce & Gabbana took another hit from the gay community when Ellen lambasted the unambiguously gay duo for making comments in an Italian magazine about in-vitro fertilization being as awful as pairing beige slacks with a taupe sweater. In a quirk of expectations, the designing ex-couple mentioned that babies should come from men and women […]

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Portia de Rossi Loves to Skywrite

August 20, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Portia de Rossi’s go to gifts for Ellen are either skywriting messages or that special thing she does with her tongue and ring finger that drives her old lady wild. She can do both while pretty deeply intoxicated. Amid rumors of a marriage reminiscent of Ike and Tina Turner without the music, Portia paid a […]

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Portia De Rossi Faded On Ellen Vag

July 15, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Ellen’s vagina is the psychoactive toad of lesbian Hollywood. It made Anne Heche crazy, well, more crazy. Portia de Rossi is now experiencing the long term effects of having her face directed between her older wife’s pant-suited thighs and told to help mama relax. Portia has started chugging diet wine coolers and screaming to the […]

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At Ellen’s New Mansion, The Carpets Do Match The Drapes (And You’re Eating Both If You Want to Move In)

May 24, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There was this guy in my circle of friends, he used to hang out at the bars, get lucky with the ladies every now and then, until one day up and told everybody he was moving in with some older man. He declared himself gay, packed his few material goods, and moved into this swank […]

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