Beyoncé Wants You To Buy $300 Picture Book

WikiHow exists. It's free. It's the online version to get a general idea of how to do everything from hide a body to be an adult. Beyoncé exists. She does not believe in WikiHow or the general public's competence. read more

Ray J vs. Reality TV, Big Brother Edition

How is it possible Kim was the one on her knees and ended up with the more successful career. She still headlines her own reality show while Ray J is a contestant on one.  read more

Carole Radziwill Wise Ancient Insta Tit

Those of you assuming that the Kardashians are the fame hoiest fame hos in town haven't tuned into the Real Housewives - the Bravo franchise dedicated to the awareness of aging female celebrities. The housewives, who are actually only 20% "real" and 80% plastic and gas,... read more

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Emma Stone Defeats Wage Gap And Jennifer Lawrence

Nothing screams new age American values more than competing against someone that looks like you, and clawing yourself to the top. It's capitalism rebooted. But I'd rather see Emma Stone claw at Jennifer Lawrence in barely any clothes read more

Sam Claflin Bathing Suit Somebody

Sam Claflin has taken the risky approach of garnering media coverage by squeezing his dick and balls into Shailene Woodley's bathing suit. Risky because his genitals now look like the underside of a boat, or I guess Bella Thorne's face if we want to be topical, due to... read more

White House Hottie Hope Hicks

I hope Hope Hicks is able to fill the political position. And if she doesn't secure the promotion, I know positions I'd like to fill her in. Politics can be pretty boring. But I'm sensing a spike in younger male political interest coming on. read more

Chris Brown Opens Up About Beating

Domestic violence is never okay. In an obvious PR move, Chris made a documentary opening up about the beating to clear his name. Sort of.  read more

Anna Paquin Is All About Lesbian Upkilt

Anna Paquin will be seeking Scottish lesbian stud love in her new project Tell It To The Bees. Her lover will be Holliday Grainger. Hold on to your kilts men.  read more

Sarah Stage Defends Being Ripped Pregnant Dude

He-Man is trembling. Instagram model, fitness guru, author, and future nobody Sarah Stage has made a sideshow name for herself over the past few years as the Incredible Ripped Pregnant Man, and in a new statement, she proves that she doesn't have room for the h8ers in her... read more

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The Gentrified Munsters Of Brooklyn

I'm waiting for the medical industry to classify hipster as a disease. Reboots are ripoffs that lack the respect for the original, but adding a hipster element just takes the cake. read more

Lori Loughlin Full Of Crap About Daughter's Car Accident

Celebrity parents are some of the most out of touch individuals on the planet. The evasion of common sense when you're a star is a dominant trait. read more

Pink Milking For All It's Worth

While the world turns its collective head towards business casual neo-Nazis, somewhat passable trans man Pink is holding down the milk bag advocacy fort that nobody gives a fuck about. When you're engaged in a battle against zero people for media attention, what does that... read more